For most of my life, rest meant one thing: Sleep more. That’s it.
And when I was first forced to think about self-care (when cancer invaded my body), my definition expanded — but only slightly. I still secretly equated rest with laziness. I’m an Enneagram 3; slowing down felt like failure.
So I did the bare minimum.
Self-care = mani-pedi. That’s it.
For six straight months I thought, “Look at me! I’m doing self-care!”
Meanwhile… nothing inside me was actually replenishing.
Then I came across the work of Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, and everything clicked:
Rest isn’t about stopping.
Rest is about restoring.
She differentiates between;
- Cessation rest – collapsing, zoning out, binge-watching, sleeping more, taking time off, numbing out.
- Restorative rest – intentional practices that refill the part of you that’s actually empty.
According to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, we don’t need more rest.
We need the right kind of rest.
There are 6 types — and each one renews a different part of us.
- Physical Rest – Recharging the Body
This is the obvious one: sleep.
But it’s also:
• Stretching what’s tight
• Gentle movement
• Deep breathing
• Pausing before your body hits a wall
It’s your body whispering:
“Treat me like a living thing, not a machine.”
- Sensory Rest – Quieting the Input
This is about reducing noise – the kind your nervous system absorbs.
• Turning off screens
• Sitting in silence
• Soft lighting
• Clearing visual clutter
It’s choosing peace over pings.
- Emotional Rest – Putting Down the Mask
This one is powerful, and uncomfortable.
• Telling the truth
• Saying the thing you keep swallowing
• Letting yourself be human
• Not performing “I’m fine”
It’s the opposite of being the strong one all the time.
- Social Rest – Being with People Who Refill You
It’s choosing relationships that breathe life into you, not drain it.
• Being with people who expect nothing
• Allowing solitude
• Prioritizing those who love you as you are
It’s remembering:
Your energy is sacred.
- Mental Rest – Calming the Mind
This is the exhale after too much thinking.
• Writing thoughts down
• Taking one task at a time
• Creating micro-pauses
• Breathing before reacting
It’s letting the mind settle instead of sprint.
- Creative Rest – Awakening Wonder
The one so many of us forget.
• Beauty that makes your soul sigh
• Nature
• Art, books, music
• Inspiration you didn’t know you needed
Creative rest reconnects you to possibility.
Here’s the truth I wish I’d learned sooner:
You can sleep all weekend and still be exhausted.
You can take time off and still feel drained.
You can get a spa day and still feel empty.
Because your body might pause…
but your mind, emotions, and spirit?
Still running.
These days, I ask myself — and maybe you want to ask too:
What kind of rest do I actually need right now?
Not the convenient option.
Not the usual habit.
Not the “I’ll push through” version.
Healing didn’t begin when I slowed down. It began when I learned how to rest – the kind that restores me.
And that changed everything.
Which part of you is asking to be restored today? And what’s one small thing you can do to honour that?
